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Leadership is not just about guiding others—it’s about leading yourself. It’s about breaking free from unconscious scripts, stepping into your authority, and creating the life and leadership you want. This realization hit me profoundly during a leadership meeting in Paris in 2005.As I walked into the room, ready to showcase my expertise, I quickly found myself frustrated by my European boss, Michel, who ignored me and spoke at length without acknowledging my presence. My immediate response? Irritation and resentment. I raised my hand and made a sharp remark, thinking I was defending myself. But what I failed to see in that moment was that I wasn’t acting from a place of authority—I was reacting from old, ingrained beliefs about self-worth and leadership.This was a pivotal moment. I had spent much of my career tying my self-worth to my intellect, to being the “smart one” who could fix problems quickly. But that strategy, built on the need for external validation, was failing me. When we place our self-worth in external sources—approval, recognition, or validation from others—we are setting ourselves up to be reactive, not proactive.I know how easy it is to react to situations based on immediate impulses. My emotional authority meant I had to learn to pause, reflect, and only respond when something truly aligned with my deeper truth. In that Paris meeting, I wasn’t in alignment. I was playing an old script that had been written for me by past experiences—one that demanded recognition, control, and approval.But the shift from reaction to creation came when I realized I could choose my response. Leadership, I discovered, isn’t about proving my value to others or seeking recognition—it’s about owning my own narrative.To lead from a place of true authority is to recognize that you are the author of your own life story. You are not your past mistakes, nor are you the roles or titles you have worn throughout your career. You are the creator, the initiator, the one who can rewrite your narrative at any time. This shift from “playing the character” to “being the author” changes everything—not only for yourself but for those you lead as well.In Being Your Own Authority, I discuss several key distinctions that I believe are fundamental to effective leadership:Old Scripts vs. Conscious Creation: The scripts we inherit—societal norms, family expectations, corporate roles—often define our actions without us even realizing it. The first step in leadership transformation is becoming aware of these unconscious patterns. Once you see them, you can rewrite them. External Validation vs. Internal Power: Many leaders, myself included, have sought validation through accolades, praise, or proving their worth. But true power comes from within. When you stop seeking approval from others, you can make choices from a place of authenticity. Reaction vs. Response: The biggest shift in leadership comes when you move from reacting to circumstances to consciously creating your reality. This requires emotional awareness—knowing what feels right for you, and taking action from that aligned place. &nbsp;Choosing to Create rather than react is the essence of leading from your own authority. It requires self-awareness, emotional clarity, and the willingness to challenge old narratives. It’s not about avoiding conflict or criticism; it’s about embracing your power to respond with intention, from a place of truth.In the years following that Paris meeting, I left the company and embarked on a journey of self-discovery. That decision led me to a deeper understanding of leadership—not as a hierarchical position, but as a process of continuous conscious creation. It’s about leading with presence, honesty, and direction, not control or perfection.If you are ready to step into your own authority and break free from the unconscious scripts holding you back, ask yourself: What is the story I’ve been living, and how can I rewrite it? You have the power to lead yourself and others to new heights by choosing to live authentically, from your own true authority. The journey of becoming your own authority starts with one question: Who are you when you stop reacting to the world around you and begin creating from within?

From Reaction to Conscious Creation: How to Lead from Your Own Authority

Every system is perfect for the result that it gets.When I first heard this sentence from Steve Chandler, it sounded weird.But it’s true.Let’s take a clear example of a system: an apple tree. The result of an apple tree is apples. That’s obvious. That’s why it’s called an apple tree.Now, let’s say you have an apple tree, but you don’t like apples. What do you do?You cut down the apple tree, plant a cherry tree, nurture it, and after a while, you have cherries. That makes perfect sense.But in real life, we don’t do that.In business, we don’t do that.We don’t like the results we see—certain KPIs, leadership issues, financial situations—but instead of changing the system, we fall back on old habits. We work harder, faster, and push more.But an apple tree doesn’t care how hard you work. It will still give you apples.What Most People Do Instead of Changing the SystemThis happens everywhere—business, leadership, personal growth. People don’t like the results they’re getting, but instead of changing the system, they try to force different results.• A company with low employee engagement throws in perks and motivational talks instead of fixing toxic leadership.• A struggling entrepreneur blames the economy instead of rethinking their offer or pricing.• Someone stuck in a personal rut keeps reading books and attending seminars but never changes their daily actions.They don’t change the tree. They just hope for different fruits.The Hard Truth About ChangeWith an apple tree, the system is obvious. You can see it, touch it.But in most areas of life, the system is invisible. We focus on what we can see—the results—rather than what’s actually producing them.So we: • Work harder, thinking effort alone will fix it. • Work smarter, believing efficiency is the answer. • Try new tactics, hoping a different approach will magically change everything.But nothing changes—because the system stays the same.The Real WorkIf you don’t like the results, the only real solution is to change the system. • In business, this system is called culture, leadership style, or values. • In personal life, it’s called beliefs, habits, and patterns.Until those transform, every action will lead to the same outcome—more work, more overwhelm, more busyness—because the focus is on the fruit, not the tree.Real change happens when you stop trying to force different results from the same system.In the apple tree metaphor, you cut down the tree, plant a cherry tree, nurture it, and give it time—and before you know it, you have cherries.It’s exactly the same in business, relationships, and life.Because the system is always decisive.Your TurnWhat area of your life or work isn’t producing the desired results? What system might be creating those exact outcomes?Find more in my newest book, "Being Your Own Authority," which will help you identify your hidden systems and create a whole new game. Activate to view larger image,

Every System is Perfect for the Result That it Gets

Wall with wooden decorative panels. Natural background

<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);">In <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">a world obsessed with achievement, speed, and constant progress, ancient wisdom reminds us that true fulfillment lies in the simplest of actions. The Zen saying “Chop wood, carry water” holds a profound message: the path to mastery, peace, and enlightenment is not found in grand moments but in how we approach the ordinary tasks of life.<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">The Meaning Behind “Chop Wood, Carry Water” <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">At its core, this phrase teaches us that before enlightenment, we must chop wood and carry water—simple, mundane tasks necessary for survival. But after enlightenment, we still chop wood and carry water. The difference? Our awareness.Life doesn’t suddenly become effortless after reaching a breakthrough. The dishes still need washing, emails still need answering, and responsibilities don’t disappear. What changes is our relationship with these tasks.Instead of viewing daily actions as obstacles to something greater, we realize that they are the practice itself.1. Mastery is Found in RepetitionEvery great artist, athlete, or leader understands this principle:• The pianist plays the same scales over and over.• The athlete runs the same drills every day.• The entrepreneur refines their craft through countless small actions.There is no shortcut to excellence—only the willingness to embrace the process.2. Presence Over PerfectionIn our modern world, we chase “big” moments: promotions, achievements, or life-changing events. But fulfillment isn’t waiting at the finish line; it’s hidden in the journey.“Chop wood, carry water” reminds us that deep joy comes from fully engaging in the moment, even when doing something as simple as making a cup of tea or walking to work.When we stop rushing toward an imagined future, we begin to notice the beauty in the present.3. Discipline is the Path to FreedomIronically, we often think that freedom means doing whatever we want, whenever we want. But true freedom comes from self-discipline and commitment.• Meditation only works when done consistently.• Physical strength only comes from regular training.• Wisdom only grows when we engage in daily learning.Instead of resisting routine, we can learn to find peace in it.4. Enlightenment is Found in the OrdinaryMany of us seek transformation through dramatic experiences—silent retreats, spiritual awakenings, or life-changing books. But true wisdom is realizing that the deepest truths are already present in our everyday lives.• Washing the dishes can be a meditation.• Walking can be an act of awareness.• Work can be a space for deep presence.Instead of searching for meaning elsewhere, “Chop wood, carry water” teaches us that everything we seek is already here—if we slow down and notice it.Make Every Action SacredThe next time you feel stuck in routine, frustrated by slow progress, or eager to reach the next milestone, remember this phrase.Ask yourself:• What if this moment, right now, is the most important one?• What if my simple daily actions are actually the foundation of my growth?• What if chopping wood and carrying water is not just a task, but the whole point of life itself?Because in the end, mastery is not about doing something once—it’s about doing it again and again, with presence, patience, and love.

Chop Wood, Carry Water: The Hidden Wisdom In Everyday Life

Most people still believe that influence and impact come from power, status, money, working hard, and making big decisions. That’s the old way of leadership—the business-as-usual approach and, let's be honest, is seen all around us.But real impact doesn’t come from what you do or the position you hold. It comes from who you are.You’ve probably heard the saying, “Who you are speaks before you open your mouth.” It’s true, but most people don’t fully grasp what that means. Influence isn’t just about what you say or what you know. It operates on a completely different level—one that goes beyond logic, strategy, or even skill. It works at the level of energy and frequency.The Power of PresenceThink about the people who have had the biggest impact on you. Not just the ones who gave you good advice, but the ones who shifted something in you just by being in the room. Maybe they carried a sense of certainty, a deep calm, or an undeniable authenticity that made you feel different.That’s not about words. That’s about energy.People feel you before they hear you. Whether you’re leading a team, speaking to an audience, or just walking into a meeting, your energy enters the room before your voice does. It’s what creates trust, credibility, and real influence—not the title on your LinkedIn profile.Influence Beyond WordsThere’s research to back this up. Studies on nonverbal communication show that over 90% of what we communicate is not in our words but in our tone, body language, and presence. (Psychology Today)Even in leadership, authenticity is the key to influence. Forbes highlights that genuine presence builds deeper trust than any strategic move or carefully crafted message. (Forbes)And if you want to go deeper, even quantum physics suggests that everything is energy. (Scientific American) The way you vibrate—your frequency—determines what and who you attract. You don’t convince people with logic; you shift them with your presence.The Shift: From Doing to BeingThis changes everything. If real influence comes from energy, then leadership isn’t just about what you do—it’s about who you are. It’s about:<ul><li>Cultivating a deep sense of self-trust and authenticity</li><li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);">Aligning with your own inner authority instead of external expectations</li><li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal);">Letting your energy speak for you instead of over-explaining or trying to prove yourself</li></ul>You don’t have to try to be influential. When you embody who you truly are, influence happens naturally.

Influence and Impact: A New Way of Seeing It

Multi-ethnic business couple arriving at hotel reception desk

A month ago, I was in Dubai for a one-day workshop. I booked a standard room at a hotel in Dubai Marina, knowing that my membership status usually grants me an upgrade. Sure enough, 24 hours later, I got an email:“Congratulations, your room has been upgraded to a Marina View with Club Access.”Nice! I thought. A great view, a quiet lounge to work in—perfect.But when I arrived, things took an unexpected turn.At check-in, the kind lady at the desk smiled and said, “Welcome, Mr. Habets! We’ve upgraded you to a Marina View room.”I waited for the rest—with Club Access—but it didn’t come.So I asked, “With Club Access, correct?”She hesitated. “No, this one doesn’t have Club Access.”I pulled up my app. There it was, in black and white: Marina View with Club Access.She glanced at it and said, “Oh, that’s just the name of the room.”That struck me. That’s just the name of the room?A manager was called in. He walked up, barely acknowledged me, and repeated the same line: “That’s just the name of the room.” Then he blamed IT, saying the system had mislabeled it.I wasn’t upset. Look, I don’t need free stuff, but I am very sensitive to people saying A and doing B. I care about integrity.It’s really simple: the hospitality business, like all businesses, thrives on trust. Their entire brand is built on delivering what they promise. It’s their reputation. If your reputation is damaged, it’s detrimental to your business.The lady and her manager couldn’t see that. So I decided to stand for them more than they did for themselves. Not for me, but for them. In the name of service.I wasn’t heard by the two people behind the check-in desk, so when I checked into my room, I sent a LinkedIn message to the hotel’s general manager.Not a complaint, but a note of awareness: “Dear Sir, I thought you might want to know what’s happening in your hotel. Some guests will just never return. Others will make a scene. I’m simply letting you know what’s going on.”Three minutes later, the general manager, James, replied: “This is unacceptable. My apologies. I would like to meet you for breakfast tomorrow and make this right with you.”The next morning, over breakfast, James—who is the GM of five hotels under this brand in Dubai—opened up to me:“Honestly, I’m struggling with team morale. We have people from five continents, ten nationalities. It’s amazing, but also difficult. Everyone sees things from their own perspective. If you had checked in with someone else, you probably would have gotten Club Access. But this employee saw it her way and didn’t take initiative. It drives me crazy.”That struck me because here was yet another example of what happens unseen and unnoticed—on both a personal and an organizational level:We’re stuck in a single point of view, and we don’t even realize it. And when we don’t see that, we can’t see anything new.James and I spoke for an hour. That evening, I got another WhatsApp message:“Can we meet for dinner?”At dinner, he told me, “I had kind of given up. We’ve done so many trainings, had so many managers trying to ‘fix’ things. But what you said made me see it differently—it’s not about instilling rules, new processes, or procedures. It’s about getting people to be open to new perspectives.”Then he asked:“Would you be open to helping us with that?”What started as a simple conversation about a hotel room became a deeper conversation about leadership, perspective, and transformation.

The Power of Possibility (even during a hotel check-in)

The world of work is undergoing a seismic shift, and employees are no longer willing to tolerate outdated structures. As organizations strive to thrive, they must directly address the desires of their workforce for autonomy, purpose, and innovation. Ignoring these needs is not an option; it's a recipe for failure.The Challenge for Traditional StructuresTraditional organizations, characterized by rigid hierarchies and top-down decision-making, need help to keep pace. Employees crave environments where they can express their potential and contribute meaningfully. Companies that fail to adapt risk losing talent and stifling innovation, as seen in recent headlines of layoffs and worker dissatisfaction across various sectors.<blockquote>"In a world where work is rapidly evolving, the organizations that thrive will be those that empower their employees, embrace innovation, and foster a culture of continuous growth."</blockquote>Overcoming resistancePeople are creatures of habit and organisations encounter all sorts of resistance to overcome the old and bring in the new:<ol><li>Cultural Resistance: Employees and leadership may resist changes to established processes and mindsets.</li><li>Leadership Buy-in: Ensuring top management fully supports and understands the new direction is crucial.</li><li>Skill Gaps: Employees may lack the necessary skills for new roles or technologies, requiring training and development.</li><li>Maintaining Engagement: Keeping employees motivated and engaged during transitions can be difficult.</li><li>Balancing Autonomy and Accountability: Finding the right level of employee freedom while maintaining performance standards.</li><li>Communication Barriers: Ensuring clear and open communication across all levels of the organization.</li><li>Measuring Success: Identifying appropriate metrics to evaluate the impact of changes.</li><li>Integration with Existing Systems: Aligning new processes with existing technologies and workflows.</li><li>Change Fatigue: Employees may become overwhelmed by continuous changes and initiatives.</li><li>Ensuring Diversity and Inclusion: Building a diverse and inclusive culture that supports innovation and growth.</li></ol>Three Key Suggestions for Transformation1. Empower Employee Autonomy Companies like Netflix have established a culture of freedom and responsibility, allowing employees to make decisions that affect their work. This approach increases engagement and fosters a sense of ownership over projects. Action Point: Create flexible work arrangements and let teams choose how they approach their projects, enhancing creativity and accountability.2. Cultivate a Culture of Innovation Adobe has implemented its "Kickbox" innovation process, providing employees with a toolkit and funding to pursue new ideas. This initiative has led to numerous successful products and increased employee morale. Action Point: Encourage experimentation and recognize creative contributions to cultivate an environment where innovation can flourish.<blockquote>"The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle." — Steve Jobs</blockquote>3. Invest in Personal Development Salesforce has made headlines for its commitment to employee growth, offering extensive training programs and mentorship opportunities. This investment has resulted in higher employee satisfaction and retention. Action Point: Develop tailored programs focusing on self-awareness and skill enhancement, ensuring employees feel supported in their career journeys.The Path ForwardOrganizations that navigate these changes will create a more engaged and motivated workforce. By fostering autonomy, encouraging innovation, and investing in personal development, companies can enhance their adaptability and position themselves for long-term success.The future belongs to companies that break free from outdated models and embrace their employees' unique qualities.

Newsletter

From Reaction to Conscious Creation: How to Lead from You...

Every System is Perfect for the Result That it Gets

Chop Wood, Carry Water: The Hidden Wisdom In Everyday Life

Influence and Impact: A New Way of Seeing It

The Power of Possibility (even during a hotel check-in)

Breaking the Mold: How Companies Must Evolve or Die